Making Things Happen in 2013 - Part II

"Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least." Y'all, thank you for sharing such encouraging responses to my last post! I have been so inspired by this goal-setting process this week - I can't wait to apply these steps to aspects of my professional work.

I left off last time with my progress up through Step 5. Step 6 is writing out a vision for 2013, reflecting on where you see yourself in 50 years and what you consider to be your personal mission statement. Here's my vision for 2013:

Content, grateful, and present. Gracious. Saying "yes" to things that matter and basing my priorities and decisions on that. Doing more of what fires me up! Giving freely. Making love an action word. Speaking with intention. Working with passion and living a life of gratitude, love, and grace.

This was the most reflective step for me. These questions really make you stop, think, and evaluate your life in a whole new way. What is important in the long run? What kind of person do you want to be? I found I really had to quiet myself for this part of the process. What a wonderful way to prepare your heart and mind for the New Year! Steps 7 and 8 are designed to keep you accountable for living your vision this year: Make a list of things you are saying NO to this year (because they detract from your vision or keep you from being the person you want to be) and make a list of things you are saying YES to this year (because they support your vision).

This year, I am saying NO to: 1. Social media distraction 2. Selfishness in relationships 3. Greed - holding onto things we don't need, buying things we don't need 4. Worry and fear of the future 5. Not being a good listener 6. Working without passion 7. Negative influences 8. Complaining 9. Making excuses to myself 10. Judging others 11. Multi-tasking, not being fully present or focused 12. My iPhone during time with SD 13. Selfish rewards 14. Trying to live up to others' expectations 15. Carrying emotional baggage 16. Having unfair expectations of others 17. Comparison - trying to be too much like others 18. Not taking/making time to rest and be inspired 19. Talking negatively about others 20. Laziness in work, marriage, and personal life

This year, I am saying YES to: 1. More impromptu date nights with SD 2. More prayer 3. An established exercise routine 4. Giving time in service to others 5. Being grateful and counting our blessings 6. Simplifying our life 7. Giving away things we don't use or need 8. Building relationships 9. Getting up on time 10. Making healthy food choices 11. More focused, productive working hours 12. Fewer distractions when I'm home with SD 13. Becoming a better musician 14. Taking time to rest and be inspired during the week 15. More study of the Word 16. Being honest and authentic in what I do 17. Inspiring influences 18. Reading for pleasure 19. Encouraging others 20. Resting in the security of grace 21. Solitude 22. Walks 23. A balanced day 24. Living freely and giving freely 25. Letting go

Everything seemed amazingly clear to me after I made these lists - I even refined my vision statement. Have you ever taken the time to vocalize or write out the things that you want less of in your life? It's freeing, friends. Do what matters and forget the rest. I'm going to post these lists above my desk so that I can be reminded of them every day.

Step 9? Review Steps 1-8. Refine things, add to or change things on your lists, get feedback from someone close to you. Make a note of any key ideas/goals that emerge as you do this.

The final step is writing out purposeful, accessible goals. Yes! I love what Lara said about this part of the process: "The idea here is for you to SIMPLIFY your life, not to give yourself a new to-do list of random things that sound good. Be very specific and careful about what you decide to spend your time on this year." Use the following as a checklist:

1. Will this goal help my 2013 Vision? 2. Does this goal also help other people? 3. WHY would I spend my time on this goal? Write out your answer next to your goal.

I love this. I'll be sharing my progress on this last step and my list of goals for 2013 with you later this week!

Love, Ashley

// Making Things Happen in 2013 - Part I

Making Things Happen in 2013

Happy New Year, friends! As I write this, I'm 38,000 feet in the air in Delta seat 42A headed to Utah for a Danyew family ski trip (my first!). We've had a wonderful holiday adventure so far, including three Christmases, three states, and a harrowing six-hour trip (that should have taken two) in the midst of Winter Storm Euclid. You could say that we're making the most of the holidays/Winter Break. In between all the traveling, skiing, and butter cookie-eating, I've been reflecting on 2012 and setting goals for 2013.

Don't you just love this time of the year? I do. Everything feels fresh and new with the calendar change and though I'm not one for making resolutions, planning thoughtful, meaningful goals and setting up ways to achieve them fires me up to live the life I want to live and do my work with passion.

Raise your hand if you've jotted down a short list of goals at the last possible moment on New Year's Eve (in order to make the magical January 1st deadline). Raises hand. When you look back, how many of those goals did you accomplish? How many moved you forward? No more! I want to set authentic, purposeful goals that I can actually attain.

This week, inspired by Lara Casey's Goal-Setting Steps, I've been doing just that. Guys, the process is so important to setting real, attainable goals. Think about this past year. What did you make happen? What worked well? What didn't work? I spent an afternoon last week pondering these questions and writing out my answers. Beginning with the positive, Step 1 is making a list of things you're grateful for and things that worked well in 2012. Here's what my "worked well" list looks like:

WCMW // the organization and planning, the community support, the quality of the music, and the overall experience PhD at Eastman // I love the work I am doing, the things I am learning, the opportunities and experiences, and the people I work with Living in Rochester // city + country + lakes + beach + mountains, culture, dining, separation of home/work, people our age Setting boundaries // more productive during working hours and able to enjoy time away from work Making decisions // better at getting through emails, taking risks, being confident in my abilities, taking an active role instead of a passive one, and making things happen New website/brand // represents me as an artist, a teacher, a writer, and an entrepreneur; better way of staying in touch with professional network Musical growth // recitals, musicianship, learning new things, surrounding myself with other musicians Giving // helping those in need, living with less, compassion, living "Love Does" Grace // living it in action (calm, patient, peaceful, joyful) Traditions // making new traditions with SD while honoring the old, living in the present and focusing more on what matters Healthier choices // exercising more, eating less meat and no milk, buying local, drinking more water Reading for pleasure // read three books since summer; inspiring, motivating, refreshing

Basically, this comes down to three points (skipping ahead to Step 4): 1. Never stop learning. Be honest and authentic in what you do. 2. Continue striving for musical excellence. Share this with others. 3. Work to live. Set boundaries, know your priorities, and focus on what matters.

Likewise, there were several things that didn't work well last year. This is Step 2. These are learning opportunities for the year to come:

Taking work personally // investing too much of myself into work Worry // about what others think, about finances, about the future, about relationships Lack of boundaries // separating work and personal life at home Lack of inspiration // teaching full-time without being refueled, without rest, and without being inspired Selfish intentions // in decision-making, in marriage, in giving, in relationships Taking things for granted // thinking that newlywed life should be bliss, not focusing on what matters Wrong priorities // paying too much attention to things that don't matter

Again, three basic points (Step 5): 1. Invest yourself in your priorities. Give with intention. 2. Do more of what fires you up. Be inspired. Take time to rest and be filled. 3. Give thanks and be grateful every day.

Step 3 is making a list of what inspires you, invigorates you, and fires you up. Make a Pinterest board for inspiration and to keep yourself on track this year - see mine here (in progress!). Y'all, this was eye-opening for me. There it is, in black and white, exactly where I am today, how far I came in the last year, and the things that inspire me most. Amazing! Now I can begin thinking ahead with purpose (Step 6). Where do I see myself in 50 years? Why do I do what I do? What is my vision? I spent a little time during the flight reflecting on these questions and sketching out my initial responses. More to come as I continue the refining process. In the meantime, please feel free to share your goals for 2013 (if you have them already) and/or your reflection on what went well/not so well this past year in the comments below. Looking forward to sharing more of my goal-setting process with you in the days to come!

Love, Ashley

2012: A Year in Review

Happy Holidays, friends! I hope this finds you off celebrating with leftover Christmas cookies, mugs of hot chocolate by the fire, and good conversations with family and friends. For me, New Year's Eve is a time to not only look forward into what the New Year holds but to reflect on all the memories of the current year. Here are a few of my favorite moments: Image credit: personal

I applied to two doctoral programs in December of 2011 and at the end of January, we took a trip to Rochester for doctoral interviews (five in all). It was a whirlwind 48-hour trip!

I started teaching a new-to-me class at Fitchburg State in January - Commonwealth of the Arts. I continued teaching two sections of Class Piano, which brought my total number of students to over 45. What an honor!

Image credit: personal

Steve and I presented our first-ever Children's Concert in February to children ages 2-5. Originally, we were told to expect 8-10 children. About a week before the program, we found out that 35 were signed up to attend! The morning of the event, however, 56 children plus parents and teachers crowded in to find a seat. It was a great experience and "Saxophone Steve" was a bit hit! Read our recap post here.

Image credit: personal

We presented an informal lecture recital for the community in March called "The Art of the Spiritual." See video excerpts of this program here, here, and here.

Image credit: personal

We planned a quick 36-hour getaway to Maine at the end of March - shopping and dining in Portland, cliff walks along the ocean's edge, and visiting Stonewall Kitchen. Also, the President and Snoop Dogg were there. No big deal.

Image credit: Eastman School of Music

I got accepted into Eastman's PhD program in March and signed the final papers in April to enroll in the fall. I was over the moon with excitement!

Dr. Susan Conkling leading the WCMW Community Sing in May 2012. Image credit: personal

Our second year of the Westminster Chamber Music Workshop was a great success! We organized four larger concerts, one each Saturday night in May. See video clips here, here, here, and here.

Lake Junaluska, NC. Image credit: personal

We spent two weeks on the road in June - apartment hunting in Rochester, a visit with my parents in GA, and a week at Music and Worship Arts Week at Lake Junaluska, NC (read more here). Also, eating as much southern barbeque as possible.

We spent July teaching and packing for our big move - July 29! Thanks to the help of some very able-bodied friends, everything went very smoothly. Naturally, we spent August unpacking and establishing NYS residency. Steve picked back up with work and I began studying for placement exams: counterpoint and Renaissance music history.

The beach at Lake Ontario. Image credit: personal

We took the opportunity over Labor Day weekend to explore the Finger Lakes - wineries one day, beach the next!

Image credit: personal

We celebrated our first wedding anniversary in October with a day trip to Letchworth State Park. It was gorgeous!

We spent Thanksgiving in CT with Steve's parents and friends of the family and came back to the first snow dusting of the season. It was magical.

Image credit: personal

We prepared for Choral Sunday at church on December 9 - Vivaldi's Gloria and three Advent hymn arrangements by SD and got our first Christmas tree. Then, on December 14 tragedy struck at Sandy Hook Elementary School, devastating the quaint community, Steve's hometown. Our hearts just broke at the magnitude of this loss and for all the families who were affected. We sent heart-shaped messages of love and support as part of Hearts of Hope. Join the project here.

I finished the first semester of my doctoral program on 12/21, just in time to celebrate with SD and pack for our big holiday adventure - five states in two weeks!

So here it is - the last day of 2012. This year gave me new teaching opportunities and professional experiences and time to visit new places. I got accepted into Eastman's PhD program, SD and I made the move back to Rochester, and we celebrated our first of hopefully many sweet anniversaries. God is good and we are blessed. Here's to 2013!

Happy New Year, y’all!

Previously: 2011: A Year in Review

Within the security of grace

Earlier this year, I shared my goals for 2012. Among "make more decisions" and "pursue excellence," I wrote:

- Keep the faith. Think positively even when surrounded by negativity, stay strong even in the midst of frustration and weakness, find new ways to actively build my faith throughout the year, commit to worry less.

As such, I thought I'd share an expression of faith that's been on my heart lately. This year, the season of Lent spans the entire month of March. It is a solemn time in the church year, a time of self-reflection and sacrifice (giving things up). A few weeks ago, our pastor shared this thought with the congregation: "Lent is a time to examine ourselves as God sees us, within the security of grace." It resonated with me. "The security of grace" is a thought so comforting, so freeing. It's not an excuse not to do my best, it's motivation to try again, to forgive again, to move forward. It's a simple reminder that my whole life fits into the palm of His hand. We can choose to live in this security of grace every day. What will you choose?

2011: A Year in Review

I'm starting a new tradition: a newsy recap post highlighting the biggest and best moments of the past year. I thought 2010 would be tough to beat: final semester of grad school with papers and projects galore, Eastman graduation, interviewing and getting a new job, relocating to a new state, experiencing my first semester as an adjunct professor at a college, and getting engaged to the handsome SD.

Well, what do you know - 2011 turned out to be quite the year, as well! Here's what I've been up to:

We set a wedding date and jumped head-on into all the planning! We wrote up a budget, booked venues, booked a caterer, sent out save-the-dates, made lots of lists, and began all of the DIY projects (yes, SD and I did all of the planning and projects together). Read through more of my wedding planning posts here.

We visited our reception venue for the first time during a short holiday weekend getaway in February. It was so perfect for us!

We jetted off to Florida to visit my "second parents" for spring break in March and enjoyed an evening of choir rehearsals, a surprise trip to Animal Kingdom, an art show, and sharing in worship on Sunday.

I may or may not have put off dress shopping until March, but I found "the one" by mid-April.

Steve and I put together a 45-minute collaborative lecture recital called "The Art of Song" in April. We had a very enthusiastic audience that loved the opportunity to participate in our creative process! See video clips here, here, and here.

I took a train trip to Philadelphia in early June to accompany the youth choir from my church in Athens, GA. They were on a week-long tour and I joined them for a few days of concerts and sightseeing in the city. I picked up a southern accent while I was with them - SD barely recognized me on the phone!

Steve and I co-founded and co-directed the first-ever Westminster Chamber Music Workshop at the end of June with great success. Grant-writing, press releases, video blogs, email marketing, program book materials, and organizing a chamber choir and six community events in six days = lots of work + lots of fun. Read more here.

The day after the Workshop ended, we took a summer road trip to Rochester, NY. I reconnected with professors, got my favorite cookie from the cafe down the street, and soaked up the Gibbs Street atmosphere while Steve had a day of meetings. We got our fill of Wegmans, made a quick trip to the farmer's market, and even had time for a picnic at the Canal.

We took several short weekend trips to visit Steve's parents in Connecticut, including a trip at the end of July for a beautiful bridal shower hosted by Steve's mom and neighbor. A southern-themed garden party, they had everything from white hydrangeas on the tables to homemade cheese straws to pecan pie for dessert. The following week, we took a trip to see my family down in Georgia where some friends threw us a fun, black-and-white couples shower.

Classes and lessons started back in September and I stayed busy on the weekends with a few quick trips to Connecticut for final dress fittings, a day trip to Vermont for final wedding preparations, a faculty recital at school, two more wedding showers, and a trip to Rochester for a premiere of one of Steve's new works.

Image Credit: Studio 56 Photography

On the warm and sunny October 8, 2011, we said our "I dos" in a beautiful, historic Meeting House in southern Vermont complete with a string trio, a brand new piece arranged for the occasion by SD, and a handsome wedding party decked out in black dresses and tuxes with bow ties.

After the wedding, we enjoyed a week-long honeymoon exploring the streets of Portland, ME.

We'd only been newlyweds for two weeks when we hopped a plane to Memphis for a whirlwind 24-hour trip for my brother's wedding. It was funny to hear everyone refer to me as "Mrs. Danyew" - still getting used to my new name!

We thought November would settle down a bit but with teaching, choir rehearsals, a day trip to NYC, and a few days in CT for Thanksgiving, the time flew by. We celebrated our birthdays together by joining the "cool people club" and upgrading our Blackberries to iPhone 4s. Best. Decision. Ever. Also, we decided to take up jogging (training for ski season!)

December is always a busy time for church musicians but this year, I juggled the children's Christmas play, a choir cantata, two Christmas Eve services, a special chamber ensemble, and a Christmas Day service all in the span of two weeks! Happy for a week to unwind before the New Year, Steve and I spent a few days in CT before heading up to VT for celebrations with Steve's extended family.

Which brings us to today, the last day of 2011. It was a year for new things: new teaching opportunities, new music, traveling to new places, a new name... it's a busy and exciting time for us and I am greatly looking forward to all that 2012 holds!

Happy New Year, y'all!